I'm sure this has always been in the back of your mind: Who lives in the smallest apartment in New York City? How much do they pay for it? Most importantly, could it possibly be smaller than my own cramped flat? And even if you weren't ceaselessly wondering about this fact prior to opening this article, we sure hope you are now.
Well, we've found the top 4 competitors for this much-deserved title, and listed them in descending order here. In continuing NYC's storied tradition of constantly one-upping each other (or in this case, one-downing), the crew at AddressReport have also decided to award the owner of the smallest apartment in NYC the least possible prize amount for winning this competition: a hearty slap on the back. Congratulations to all finalists, and best of luck in this upcoming grudge match. Here are the 4 least imposing apartments in all of NYC.
4. West End Avenue | 210 Square Feet
Coming in fourth (but still declaring itself first), this West End Avenue apartment is billed by WPix as the smallest and coolest apartment in Manhattan. The former is false, but the latter is still up for debate. It's a tiny 210 square foot worthy of an IKEA showroom, because owner Kevin Patterson has done some amazing interior design with it. With a corner kitchen that is stacked multiple cabinets high and uniformly modernistic, white-themed furniture, it offers style without being cramped, and even leaves enough room for a sculpture and miniature library. The couch folds out into a second bed for guests, and a table pulls out for dining purposes. Finally, it's clear Kevin really knows what he's doing: the Apple laptop in the above photo is placed at the optimal 70 degrees for pure aesthetic beauty (Yes, it's a thing.)
3. Morningside Heights | 175 Square Feet
This apartment deserves more respect than it's getting on this ranking chart. Why? Because it's home to two people. And two cats. That's right, four living occupants live in the third smallest home in NYC. Zaarath and Christoper Prokop, according to the NY Post, occupy a microstudio that would barely fit a pet dachshund, but they've done a good job adapting to their limitations. A set of cabinets contains all of their worldly possessions, and over a third of the space is allocated to their queen-sized bed, where they presumably sleep in a permanently claustrophobic state while covered with cat hair. Their space is so cramped, the Prokops even leave their clothing at "various dry cleaners" and pick them up every morning on the way to work! Props, Prokops. Props indeed.
2. Upper West Side | 90 Square Feet
Now we're getting into the studios smaller than my college dorm room, which is saying something. Felice Cohen, a professional organizer, presumably chose to rent this 90 square foot apartment purely to show off her organizational skills to the 0 other people who could fit in her apartment at the same time. And it's impressive, alright. She's converted her living area into a loft, with just enough space above the bed so that you can get almost all the way up without smacking your head into the ceiling. Almost. It's also very well furnished, using a comfortable sofa-chair in the corner, a toaster and refrigerator combo (collegiate nostalgia), and IKEA stacking bins above the desk (see: decorating small apartments).
1. The Smallest Apartment in NYC | 78 Square Feet, Hell's Kitchen
This one's for real. As far as anybody knows, and Anybody knows a lot, this apartment under the custody of architect Luke Clark Tyler is the smallest in not only NYC, but possibly all of America. Beyond the obvious benefits of having the least ability to turn around of anyone in the Northern Hemisphere, there's another reason he's moved into this tiny concoction: it boasts the cheap rent of only $750 / month, equivalent to 592 months of rent in a four bedroom Malaysian condominium (No, we can't verify this.) Several notable accomplishments that Luke can boast of about his pint-sized apartment:
- The ability to touch both walls of his apartment at the same time.
- The least overcompensating (undercompensating?) man in NYC, which can only imply one thing.
- The unfortunate ability to confuse every drunk girl he brings home from a bar.
The benefits, though, include getting featured on a five minute clip for having the smallest apartment, getting articles written about you, and winning AddressReport's 1st Annual Grand Prize for Smallest Apartment in NYC.