For those attempting the feat of enjoying a New Year's Eve in New York City, below is a handy map of the 9 areas you must avoid at all costs on NYE in NYC.
The NYC NYE Sadtimes Avoidance Guide was drawn on a single paper towel sheet because this information is simply too important to entrust to a napkin.
Pro-Tip: Phone batteries die early on NYE. For best odds of Jeremy Piven loft party avoidance, print two copies of The Paper Towel NYC NYE Sadtimes Avoidance Map (we recommend traditional paper). Reference first copy whenever you find yourself wandering between venues. Keep extra copy hidden in shoe -- it is for emergency use only.
